Monday, July 11, 2011

Warning signs of e-infidelity

The Internet is a powerful tool in today's society, and many people log onto the World Wide Web on a daily basis for a number of reasons. Online activity can allow you to keep in touch with your family, stay in contact with friends, and locate people from your past. Regardless of how innocent your online activity may be, it can also lead to inappropriate behavior, and cause serious harm to your relationship. There is e-mail, instant messaging, MySpace, and Facebook, which are also available on your cellular phone. Here are some tips to help you figure out if E-Infidelity is present in your current relationship and healthy ways to approach your partner in order to help rebuild your trust.

Your Partner's Computer – As the old saying goes, people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. If your sweetheart is anxious or secretive about their online activity then consider this a major red flag. When someone in a committed relationship is unhappy, the computer can offer instant access to new and exciting people looking to form an emotional or physical connection.

Warning Signs:

* Does your partner choose to log online late at night instead of going to bed with you? Is their internet search history erased the next morning?
* Your partner is instantly defensive if you ask to use their computer.
* Does your partner check their e-mail multiple times a day?
* Is your sweetie quick to minimize their computer screen when you walk into the room?
* Did they recently install a password on the computer?
* Have you come across a separate e-mail account that you never knew existed?
* Have you found an improper photograph or chat dialogue?

It is possible for your partner to display some of the warning signs and not be guilty of E-Infidelity. Trust your intuition, and have a solid form of evidence before you accuse them of any wrong doing. If someone is capable of an affair they are probably ready to lie to you in order to cover up their deceit. Above all, remain true to yourself. Be honest with your own thoughts and feelings so you are prepared for whatever the outcome may be. Ask yourself the following:

* Are you ready to know the truth if your suspicions prove to be correct?
*  Are you ready to kick your partner to the curb if they come clean? 
* Are you strong enough to leave the relationship if you can't work it out?

You want to be heard when you express your concerns so it is important to remain calm in order to maintain a peaceful environment. Regardless of the heartache, anger or confusion you may experience during the conversation, you should strive to remain in control. Role-play with a friend or family member until you become comfortable with your approach. As you explain why you feel a certain way, look them in the eye, and share the proof with your partner. Ask one question at a time then stop to listen. Offer an open-ended question, for example:

* Why is this chat history on your computer?
* Please tell me who sent you these emails and what your relationship with them is.
* Why did you make an online dating profile?

Help Yourself to Stop E-Infidelity – Do you feel tempted to chat with someone online other than your partner? If you are serious about your relationship, then take action in order to stop yourself from cheating on your honey via the World Wide Web. Every couple has their own set of individual needs, and the relationship will suffer if you allow those needs to be met by someone else.

Help control the urge by doing the following:

* Cancel any online memberships that can lead you to stray.
* Avoid instant messaging, text messaging and e-mail contact with your ‘cyber' friend.
* Spend time with your partner. Surprise them with a home-cooked meal or a special night out.
* Recognize you have someone who loves you. If you give your honey the attention you used to give your online friend, it can make a huge difference.
* Change your e-mail address.
* Share the truth with your partner, and ask for help if you begin to feel weak.
* Keep a journal and record your thoughts. Ask yourself the following: How did I get involved in this online fantasy? What needs did I fulfill through my Internet courtship? What can I do to correct my behavior?

No matter who you are in a relationship with, it is important to remember that no one is perfect. The secret to a happy and healthy relationship is trust, respect, and loyalty to look after one another, no matter where life takes you. A partner who discovers a form of E-Infidelity will experience the same emotion; shock, anger, and confusion, as if they caught their partner in a physical situation. An online relationship can add some mystery, and excitement to a person's life, but make no mistake, it is still cheating. Whether you struggle to understand your partner's E-Infidelity or suffer from an online addiction yourself, the downward spiral an internet affair can bring is never worth it the heartache it causes. Take charge of your life and continue to seek the happiness you both deserve.


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